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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561022">Without You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarose_writes/pseuds/bellarose_writes'>bellarose_writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reddie Tumblr One Shots [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:41:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,744</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarose_writes/pseuds/bellarose_writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Derry, Richie is struggling. He calls Eddie after another nightmare.</p><p>Originally posted on my Tumblr as a request/one-shot x</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reddie Tumblr One Shots [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Without You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Don't forget to follow me on Tumbr @bellarosewrites x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An empty pack of cigarettes sat on the bedside table next to a glass which had the remains of whisky in the bottom, left from the night before when Richie had passed out drinking it. The room was dark even though it was midday, but the time of the day didn’t matter to Richie as he fumbled for the glass with shaky hands and drank the remains of the now stale drink. Richie gagged at the taste, but he would be lying if he said it didn’t help. The room smelt stale. </p><p>Richie had been fine for a while after Derry, but slowly, everything began catching up on him. All of his friends had decided to use the defeat of Pennywise to start again, but not Richie. Beverly and Ben were travelling the world together celebrating their new engagement. Ben was writing his new book and starting fresh with his wife, Audra. Mike had gone to Florida, doing god knows what, but Richie knew he was happy. And Eddie… Fuck…. Richie groaned as his stomach ached. He struggled to open his eyes but settled to rolling over and scrunching his body up. </p><p>Eddie had divorced Myra and started a brand new life. Eddie regularly sent pictures to the group chat of him in bars, or clothes shopping or even going on scenic walks up mountains. Richie smiled, even though he was in pain, as he thought about Eddie being happy. Eddie deserved it. But Richie felt a pang of jealousy. Richie wasn’t jealous of Eddie having a new wonderful life, he was jealous of whoever was taking the photos. Richie wasn’t going to lie, he loved Eddie more than a friend. All of his friends knew that. It was probably the reason why Richie couldn’t move on from Derry because he was the only one who had loose ends. Everyone moved on from their pains and heartbreaks, whereas Richie’s biggest pain was leading a brand new life without Richie in fancy new clothes and a big smile. </p><p>It had gone downhill since Richie’s agent dropped him. With no new gigs or meetings, Richie had no need to go outside unless it was to buy cigarettes or alcohol, but he had bulk bought so he hadn’t gone out for two weeks. Richie began to feel his body become heavy again and his eyes refused to open.</p><p>As soon as he closed his eyes, he was back there. Back in the place, he tried to drink to forget.</p><p>The flashing lights of the sewers thudded with his racing heart, the crashing of rubble collapsing around him as the earth beneath him trembled. Richie was running, feeling like he was screaming but not being able to hear the sound he was making. All he could hear was Eddie crying out Richie’s name echoing around the cave. Every time Richie turned a corner, Eddie wasn’t there. He was trapped looking for him. He tried following Eddie’s painful cries becoming more and more desperate, but Richie couldn’t find him. Eventually, Eddie’s voice stopped calling and Richie was dragging his heavy body along the floor, his eyes becoming more and more blurry with tears. He desperately tried to claw his way along the floor, and then he saw Eddie’s lifeless body. The blood trickling from his body and onto the floor, slowly creeping towards Richie. Richie’s voice wasn’t coming out and he couldn’t move his body away from the thick blood coming towards him. Eddie lifeless eyes watching him. </p><p>“Eddie!” Richie screamed out, gripping into the sheets beneath him as he sat up. He blinked away the visions from his nightmare but they kept playing in front of him in the darkness. Without thinking he looked for his phone in the mess of sheets, eventually finding it. He shaky hands tumbling as he typed in Eddie’s name. It took three long and painful rings before Eddie answered. </p><p>“Richie?” Eddie sleepily mumbled. </p><p>“Ed’s…” Richie sobbed, not realising he was crying until he tried to speak. Hearing Eddie’s voice began to ground him. </p><p>“Richie? What’s going on?” Eddie’s voice was rough and deep.</p><p>“Nightmare,” Richie managed to weakly say. </p><p>“Oh, Richie…” Eddie said sympathetically, softening it quickly. Richie barely heard that voice since their friendship was based on arguing with each other, but sometimes they would have their moments, just like this one.“Richie it’s ok, I’m here.” </p><p>“I wish you were actually here.” Richie sniffed, rubbing his eyes with his spare hand.</p><p>“I wish I was there too,” Eddie sighed. There was a quiet moment before he said, “I haven’t heard from you in weeks, Rich, I’ve been so worried about you. I’ve missed you so much.” Richie listened to Eddie’s breathing on the other side of the phone. Richie sniffed again, looking down at his shaking hand. </p><p>“I don’t think I’m doing so good, Eds.” Richie confessed. </p><p>“What do you mean?” Eddie replied. Richie looked around his room which was now dark, the moonlight showing the outlines of the empty alcohol bottle, the burnt-out cigarettes and his clothes spread across the floor. </p><p>“I need help, Eddie.” Richie stuttered, barely thinking about what he was saying. </p><p>“I’ll be there in six hours.” Eddie quickly said. </p><p>“What?” Richie quickly replied, blinking in the darkness. He became aware of the pain in the side of his head where his glasses had been pressing into his skull. He rubbed the pain anxiously.</p><p>“I just looked on my laptop, I can get a plane in two hours that I think I can make, and the flight isn’t that long, but maybe it might be delayed because of the storm-” Eddie was rambling.</p><p>“Eddie you don’t need to come.” Richie interrupted.</p><p>“Richie, if you need me, I’m coming.” Eddie blurted out. Richie bit his lip, thinking it over. He heard Eddie take a deep breath. “You know I would do anything for you?” Eddie’s voice was calm as he spoke.</p><p>“Yeah.” Richie sniffed. </p><p>“Okay good,” Eddie said. “Do you want me to stay on the phone while I pack?” </p><p>“Yeah ok,” Richie mumbled, shuffling back so he could sit up against his headboard. He could hear Eddie shuffling around on the other side of the phone. “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?’</p><p>“No,” Richie quickly replied. </p><p>“Ok,” Eddie breathily laughed. “You want me to just talk about shit?”</p><p>“Sure,”</p><p>“Ok, so get this, at work-”</p><p>Richie wasn’t really paying attention to what Eddie was saying, but he smiled listening to Eddie’s voice angrily ramble about some lady at his work. Richie let his eyes shut as he listened. He loved Eddie’s voice and the way he talked, even when he was angry. Richie could listen to him all day. </p><p>“Eds?” Richie interrupted without thinking. </p><p>“Yeah, Rich?” Eddie quietly asked, stopping whatever story he was rambling on about.</p><p>“I love you,” Richie squeaked. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of sleep or he was still drunk, but the words just slipped out. </p><p>“I love you too, idiot.” Eddie laughed, and Richie could hear Eddie zipping up a bag. </p><p>“No Eddie… I don’t think you should come because…” Richie tightened his eyes, he felt like he was holding his breath as he listened to Eddie silence as he stopped whatever he was doing.</p><p>“What, Richie?” Eddie asked quietly. Richie didn’t even pause to say,</p><p>“I’m in love with you.” As soon as Richie said it, it didn’t feel real. The words were something he had thought a million times. Every time Eddie smiled and laughed. Every time Eddie told a waitress about his allergies. Every time Eddie span on his foot when he danced while drunk. Every time Eddie looked at Richie, Richie knew he was in love with Eddie. But he had never said it out loud.</p><p>“Richie, I-”</p><p>“No Eddie, please. You just can’t come because-”</p><p>“Can you stop being a mumbling mess for two seconds,” Eddie interrupted and Richie let his mouth shut. “I feel like this shouldn’t be said over the phone, I’ll be there soon.”</p><p>“No, Eddie, please, if you come it will make it worse,” Richie felt tears rolling down his cheeks. </p><p>“Richie, we can talk when I get there,” Eddie replied, and Richie could feel his heart race pick up again. </p><p>“No Eddie, don’t come, please-”</p><p>“Fuck sake Richie, I’m in love with you too!” Eddie yelled angrily, and Richie pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment at the sudden noise, but then the words began to sink in. Richie sat up in his bed, his phone pressed against his ear, his chest going up and down.</p><p>“What?” Richie managed to stutter out. </p><p>“I’m in love with you.” Eddie repeated. </p><p>“You’re lying.” Richie quickly said.</p><p>“Why would I lie about that?” Eddie argued.</p><p>“I don’t know, because you feel sorry for me?” Richie muttered sadly.</p><p>“Fucking hell Richie,” Eddie groaned, “can we talk about this when we get there?”</p><p>“Ok…” Richie whispered. </p><p>“I know it’s bad timing, Richie but-”</p><p>“Say it again?” Richie interrupted.</p><p>“Say what again?” Eddie mumbled. </p><p>“You know what,” Richie said quickly.</p><p>“I’m in love with you.” Eddie said and Richie was silent. The words circled around his head again. <em>I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you. </em>The words he always wanted to hear and the words he thought he would never hear. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to scream or jump around, but he just kept thinking about Eddie saying the words, <em>I’m in love with you. </em>“Earth to Richie?” Eddie’s voice said, interrupting Richie spiralling thoughts.</p><p>“Sorry… yeah…” Richie muttered. He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you too.”</p><p>“Ok… cool…” Eddie muttered. The awkwardness of Eddie’s voice made Richie smile into the darkness. “So I’ll see you in a couple of hours?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“Sure,” Richie mumbled. “One more time?” Richie said with a smile and he heard Eddie breathily laugh on the other side of the phone. </p><p>“I love you, Richie.”</p><p>“I love you too, Eddie.”</p><p>“Ok, I actually need to hang up now so I can order this uber,” Eddie chuckled, “but I can call you back?” </p><p>“Actually,” Richie said surveying his room, “I need to do some cleaning.” </p><p>“Okay,” Eddie laughed. “Just sit tight, ok? I’ll be there soon.” </p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>“Love you, Richie. Bye.”</p><p>“Love you too, Eds.” And then the phone went dead, but Richie felt more alive then he had ever felt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed! It keeps me motivated :) x</p></blockquote></div></div>
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